Chris John Millington and my seemingly pornographic Instagram feed

Chris John Millington

If you’re anything like me, you take particular care when scrolling through your feed in public to avoid looking overly beard obsessed. So many Chris John Millington posts, such little screen…

If you don’t have an Instagram feed full of beautiful bearded men, it’s likely that you’re either yet to buy a smartphone, or here by mistake. What started for me as a little ‘bearding inspiration’ has become a guilty pleasure, not to mention a sore neck.

A recent trip on public transport involved me hunching over my phone, scrolling through endless photos of bearded men, and an older, less bearded man sitting beside me. I couldn’t help but notice him peeking around my hunched back, ever so curious to discover what was captivating my attention.

As a somewhat invasive kind of man, I thought it best to avoid eye contact or any interaction whatsoever. I noticed him drawing closer and decided to shuffle slightly down the seat, while simultaneously looking up to catch his expression.

Shit… I’ve seen that reaction before.

I could swear it was déjà vu, had I jumped back in time to my early teens, to the exact moment my mother busted me looking at porn? There is literally no better way to describe the look on this man’s face. That’s exactly what he’d done, he’d caught me indulging in ‘beard porn.’

I can only assume this man was a homophobe by his reaction, or if he didn’t see what I was looking at, believed me to be indulging in a little mid transit ‘screwtube.’ Neither of which would bother me, but the awkward moment did get me thinking…

Thank fuck I don’t have an iPad.

Innocent bystanders would be able to have a good gawk and most likely assume me to be an obsessive Chris John Millington stalker.

I couldn’t help but consider how many other bearded gents out there, appreciating beards with a regular scroll through their Instagram feed, could be equally mistaken for Chris John Millington stalkers? He’s pushing half a million followers, has a glorious beard and and an endless catalog of modelling pics that get reposted constantly.

I personally couldn’t care less what someone on the bus thinks of me gawking at photos of dapper gents while vigorously stroking my….beard. But, nonetheless I considered what would make for an interesting experiment for my next solo commute:

Consecutive Chris John Millington Snaps For Your Commute

If you don’t already look like a #MillyBilly, then read this post next time you’re on public transport and scroll slowly from here.

Dem feels when you wake up next to Chris.

Dem visual diary feels.

Dem tasty pizza feels.

A photo posted by Chris John Millington (@chrisjohnmillington) on

Dem steamy shower feels.

Dem snapchat feels.

Dem cat on your face feels.

Dem coffee on your face feels.

All jokes aside: Dem smile on your face feels.

Just like me, your feed might be filled with the likes of Chris John Millington and so what if it does? If you’re a bearded man, you understand very well the benefits of beard appreciation.

Whether you’re into guys, women, or both, finally we all have something to compliment each other on. This movement is a big deal and has the potential to bring change in the area of MENtal health.

You know very well that your beard makes you feel great, as it does for many other blokes. So next time you’re indulging in the guilty pleasure of admiring another man’s beard, disregard what anyone thinks. Beards are here to stay. Be glad that there’s personalities like Chris John Millington keeping our expression of manliness in the spotlight.

If the general population can learn to accept beards, imagine what else they could learn to accept. Beard on!

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