5 Reasons Why I Love My Shitty Beard

10 reasons why i love my shitty beard

Whether you’re a full blown follicle farmer or a ‘bum fluff’ bandit, there’s a good chance that you’re sick of the ‘poo particles’ being flung at your beard by mainstream media.

From multi-billion dollar mining companies, to globally reputable news sites, the powers to be seem to be having a real ‘crack’ at bringing down the almighty beard.

You’d be forgiven for questioning their motives and assuming that somewhere underneath all the crap journalism, a corporate conspiracy is taking shape. We’ve all seen the reports about beard culture’s affect on the razor industry, not to mention the uprising of ‘beardsmanship’ and the entrepreneurial success enabled by such a passionate community.

So let’s not dwell on the flying faecal matter… Let us buff our beards and leave the media monkeys to clean up the shit when it hits the fan.

What better way to reflect on tending to my glorious bit of lady bait than by presenting you with:

5 Reasons Why I Love My Shitty Beard

In hirsute of happiness, beard long and prosper!

1. Increased confidence to get myself out there.

Fair enough, this isn’t me, but if it was, I’d be feeling badass and rocking that frock like any man should!

2. Having something in common with one of my idols.

When you see this dude ‘skatebeard’ you’ll understand why this is a big deal. I mean I can skate, but when you consider that Chris Haslam also skates, my skill level’s something more comparable to the entire world’s Flappy Bird abilities.

3. Feeling comfortable with ageing gracefully.

This legendary gent isn’t what you’d call old, but he makes me look forward to attaining ‘wizard beard status’ one day.

A photo posted by Jay (@nobodysson) on

4. Being equipped with the ultimate ice-breaker.

Having my beard has literally opened doors to exciting new opportunities. Regardless of who I’m meeting with, the beard has always been there to spark up some conversation. I’d be willing to say it’s the best business investment I’ve made in my life.

5. Compliments from other blokes.

Nothing suss here, just genuine connections with other beardsmen. It may seem trivial, but men finally have something they’re comfortable with complimenting each other on.

This is a big deal, with depression and suicide being serious issues, it’s about time we all got over the macho bullshit. As a community we can put this little quirk to good use, let’s get talking about MENtal health!


So next time a turd comes flying at your beard, turn a blind-eye to the bullshit and just remember why you started bearding in the first place.

Or better still, think about the reasons why you’ve stuck with that majestic mane and let us know by getting involved in our upcoming interview series, Hirsute Of Happiness!

BONUS REASON: Beard loving babes!

If that special lad or lady in your life loves your beard, then why shouldn’t you?

A photo posted by Natasha. (@blueberry_bagels) on

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